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Elmore Leonard’s 10 rules of writing, via The Trad
You have here, Reader, a book whose faith can be trusted, a book which warns you from the start that I have set myself no other end but a private family one. I have not been concerned to serve you nor my reputation: my powers are inadequate for such a design. I have dedicated this book to the private benefits of my friends and kinsmen so that, having lost me (as they must do soon), they can find here again some traits of my character and of my humours. They will thus keep their knowledge of me more full, more alive.
“If my design had been to seek the favour of the world I would have decked myself out better and presented myself in a studied gait. Here I want to be seen in my simple, natural, everyday fashion, without striving or artifice: for it is my own self that I am painting. Here, drawn from life, you will read of my defects and my native form so far as respect for social convention allows: for had I found myself among those people who are said still to live under the sweet liberty of Nature’s primal laws, I can assure you that I would most willingly have portrayed myself whole, and wholly naked.
“And therefore, Reader, I myself am the subject of my book: it is not reasonable that you should employ your leisure on a topic so frivolous and so vain.
“Therefore, farewell.
”An early Pynchon article, from the December 1960 issue of Aerospace Safety:
Airlifting the IM-99A missile, like marriage, demands a certain amount of “togetherness” between Air Force and contractor. Two birds per airlift are onloaded by Boeing people and offloaded by Air Force people; in between is an airborne MATS C-124. One loading operation is a mirror-image of the other, and similar accidents can happen at both places. Let’s look at a few of the safety hazards that have to be taken into account when Bomarcs are shipped… .In the July 1960 issue of Aerospace Safety, mention was made of the second Air Force-Industry conference on missile safety; and of plans to create Air Force-Industry Accident Review Boards. If future emphasis is to be placed on such joint action, much can be gained from a positive, realistic — above all, cooperative — approach to safety problems.
Cooperation is even more important where the problem area is double-ended: where both contractor and military personnel perform the same job and are subject to the same safety hazards. Therefore, in the following discussion of one such area — that of Bomarc transportation — any references to slip-ups on the military end of the airlift are meant to be strictly non-partisan and objective. As long as there have been near accidents, it’s better to use them as a guide for future safety than to pretend they never happened.
As this article goes to press, the safety record of Bomarc airlifts can be summed up in four words: so far, so good. You may recall, however, the optimist who jumped off the top of a New York office building. He was heard to yell the same thing as he passed the 20th floor: so far, so good.
This is not to imply — necessarily — that IM-99A on and offloading crews have been living on borrowed time. Nor — necessarily — that the end of the winning streak, when it comes, will be as tragic as impacting against a concrete surface at 175 or so mph. But then again…
—
Let’s look at some of the near misses. One crew member got his foot run over by the aircraft loading trailer. But he was wearing safety shoes, as he was supposed to. Once a lifting cable failed and a missile was dropped about six inches during an offload operation. Nothing happened: no explosions, no mangled human extremities; because explosive items like squibs and initiators are shipped separately, and because the hands and feet of loading personnel were clear of the danger area. Once a failed pin in the aircraft hoist gear sent a missile and trailer rumbling down the loading ramp at a clip which might have compared favorably with airborne cruise speed to anyone in the way. But nobody, luckily, was in the way. Everyone had been paying attention to the 2 dash 2’s oft-repeated warning (repeated an even dozen times, to be exact): “Keep personnel away from down-ramp end of trailer as it is being pulled up (or rolled down) loading ramp.”Still, if you took a dim and rigorous view of these three incidents, you would conclude that personnel were only practicing about half the safety they should have been. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be using the words “near miss.” Good safety practices, we know, are redundant. Just as there are two or three different ways to trigger an ejection seat, so there are extra, redundant, “insurance” features associated with airlifting the IM-99A. For example: at the crucial moment when the trailer is stopped on the ramp while cargo is being shifted inside the plane, four conditions would have to exist before anyone could be hurt by a runaway missile and trailer:
(1) A hasty and incomplete preliminary inspection of loading gear: trailer, cable, snatch blocks, Pullift hoists, etc.;
(2) Disregard of the warning in the 2 dash 2 about staying clear of the downramp end of the trailer;
(3) Failure to attach the safety restraint chains which are normally hooked between the loading trailer and the body of the C-124; and
(4) Failure to set the trailer hand brake. Each procedure serves to back up the others. Two are physical restraints; two depend on the human element. All are essential for 100 per cent safety.
So much for near misses where “insurance” paid off. There have also been cases where survival was strictly a matter of luck. The incident that comes most readily to mind happened a short while ago, during a two-missile offloading. Normal sequence is to move the port missile all the way aft in the C-124, load the starboard missile on the offloading trailer, and steer missile and trailer on down the ramp. The manual says: “Station one man at hydraulic hand pump and gage position at right rear of trailer and one at hand brake and directional valve position at left rear of trailer. Station others as needed to observe and direct trailer loading.” “Rear of trailer” in these instructions means forward in the plane; or the end closest to the ramp. On this particular operation, however, it seems there was also a man — call him Smith — on the front end of the trailer (aft in the C-124), riding on the chassis to control a parking brake. As the outgoing missile passed by the elevator stub of the other missile, Smith got wedged in between. Fortunately, another crewman, stationed near the back end of the trailer, had both Smith and the anchor vehicle operator in his line of vision. He saw what was happening and signalled the wrecker operator to stop towing. Smith was extricated from a squeeze which could have been fatal. To quote from a subsequent field report: “At this point the crewman is on the trailer controlling the emergency (parking) brake. His back is extremely close (brushes) the elevator stub of the other missile … Should anything happen at this instant, the crewman’s life would be in danger.”
Boeing engineers tackled the problem raised in this field report, and came up with the following recommendations:
(a) Steer the trailer with the steering selector which is closest to the front of the C-124, ‘til Smith’s station is clear of that elevator stub.
(b) The only break to be used during loading is the hand brake. The parking brake — required by MIL-M-8090 — is only to keep the empty trailer from breaking loose, and should not be used when the missile is aboard. A lot of force has to be put on this brake to hold an empty trailer on a 17 degree incline, so it would be virtually useless as a physical restraint on missile and trailer.
(c) Finally, to quote again: “There is no T. O. requirement for a man to ride the trailer. A man riding the trailer during operation is subject to any accident that might happen to the trailer.”
Before we criticize Smith too severely, however, we should note that his purpose in riding the trailer was apparently to add still another item of safety insurance to the four mentioned previously. So that the intention, at least, was good.
—
Technical Manual T.O. 21-IM99A-2-2 is the bible for Bomarc airlift loading procedures. Updated every three months, these 2 dash 2 instructions are the end product of dozens of on-the-spot observations at both on and offloadings, conferences with handling equipment design engineers, and coordination with Safety Engineering. The latter group utilizes extensive test facilities and works along with other groups, like Reliability and Human Factors engineering, to solve safety problems which have already arisen and to find out how future ones can be prevented. Often, solutions to local, in-house contractor problems can be applied to similar conditions in the field.For at least two men, however, safety is considerably more personal than anything written in the manual or in a test report. On the day of the airlift, safety of the C-124 and the missiles inside is largely up to the MATS loadmaster and one engineer from Boeing’s Missile Delivery Group.
They’re both out on the flight apron at 0700. Together they hold a thorough, nit-picking inspection: checking the housekeeping around the loading area and in the plane, determining the exact condition of all loading gear. The next thing is to decide where to put what in the cargo spaces. To have a safe flight, the center of gravity of the plane must stay between certain body stations. Almost always there is extra freight, like batteries and test sets, to be sent along with missiles and airfoils. Tiedown methods have to be agreed on. Both engineer and loadmaster must be able to think on their feet and make rapid decisions and adjustments in case an item of freight doesn’t show up, or if more shows up than they expected. Exact placement of cargo and exact fuel requirements are therefore figured down to the last inch and gallon by two heads containing a sum total of years of air-cargo knowhow and experience. Aiding their calculations are the engineer’s conventional slipstick, and the loadmaster’s load adjuster, marked off in body stations and fuel loads, and serialized to his C-124 and that plane only.
Boeing personnel, supervised by the loadmaster, perform the actual onloading. Their procedures follow the lines set down by the 2 dash 2, with certain sophistications. The loading trailers here at Seattle — referred to, for some obscure reason, as “tomato” dollies — are smaller and lighter than those in use at the other end. This makes for speed and safety in loading, since less strain is put on the loading gear.
—
Now don’t everybody yell at once. We know there aren’t any of these out at the bases. And for a very good reason, too. Sure, maybe the light trailers speed things up. But they are too light for safe over-the-road transportation — too fragile, and not built to ICC specifications. This is OK at Seattle, where there is no “over the road”; only a few yards over a smooth flight apron, between the storage area and the ‘124. But at a tactical base, the distance between the airhead and Bomarc site is often quite a stretch, and the trailer must be rugged enough to take a long haul.Positive, error-proof communication between load-master and anchor winch is provided at onloadings by a three-light system which looks like an ordinary traffic signal. Red means “stop,” green means “wind in cable,” amber means “let out cable.” One big advantage is that the system works efficiently even around a high noise level area. And with ‘707s, B-52s, KC-135s and other heavies warming up, taxiing and taking off most of the time, that noise level can get pretty high.
We are not saying that the Seattle end of the airlift is ultra-safe, and can do no wrong, while the other end is a horde of accident-prones. The Boeing crew doesn’t wear safety shoes. The bases don’t have the three-light system. So who is safer than who?
The thing to remember is that this whole business of airlifting the IM-99A continues under a set of conditions which — let’s face it — we all have to live with. For one thing, the loading ramp of the C-124 is inclined 17 degrees to the horizontal. We can figure out from simple trigonometry that a shallower ramp would mean less pull on the hoist cable and its associated gear, and therefore safer operation. The C-133, it so happens, has a shallower ramp. Unfortunately, not many C-133s are available, nor as of this writing are they likely to be. In addition, the ‘133 does not come equipped with a cargo hoist, which means that even if we could get this aircraft, each missile would have to be shipped on its own individual trailer. So the ‘124 and its steep ramp are here to stay.
Another thing both ends must realize is that loading crews get used to working together. MATS likes to rotate loadmasters on these airlifts, to spread the experience around. But in places with a low turnover rate, missile stevedoring would be performed by a more or less integrated team, who knew each others’ idiosyncrasies, who had evolved certain private hand or verbal signals valid only for the team itself. Up to a point, nothing is wrong with this approach. MATS has been in business since 1948, and airlifts have been going on nearly as far back as the Wright brothers. During that stretch, a lot of knowledge has been accumulated. The rules on missile transportation — safety and otherwise — are based solidly on common sense, and if the same crew has been working together over a period of time, such “in-group” communication can speed things up. But now, take for instance the crewman who nearly got squashed between two missiles. Suppose the man signalled his plight to the anchor vehicle had started dancing around, waving and yelling. Suppose the winch operator had been a new man, not thoroughly briefed on signals. To him, such apparently random signalling could have meant “go faster,” “the trailer just ran over my foot,” “the general is coming,” or just about anything. If he had thought to himself, “maybe he means I should take in more,” and thereupon started reeling in cable fast and furiously, the IM-99A airlift would have chalked up its first fatality. The moral is simply that everybody engaged in the operation should be told beforehand what each signal means and the information checked and double checked before on or offloading ever begins.
—
These are probably the two major problems: slope of the ramp and positive communication. But when you come right down to it, the others are equally as important; areas like trailer and hoist maintenance, safety training, proper use of protective covers. Too often and too easily these areas can be dismissed with the formula: “Not applicable; this is an Air Force problem.” At the risk of belaboring the obvious, it would seem that difference between getting killed and living to a ripe old age ought, by every rule of common sense, to be everybody’s problem.Chain Robbins, Safety Engineering Group Supervisor at Boeing, has put it this way: “One of the most unpleasant things about this business is the day you suddenly realize that many of the safety codes the Air Force and Industry have were generated out of tragedy — someone killed, someone mangled for life. You might say one of the objectives of the safety movement, which got under way around 1911, is to generate codes from tests, studies of human reactions, statistical data, near misses, everything we can get, to prevent future tragedies from ever happening.”
There has never been a tragedy on any Bomarc airlift. Yet.


During his stay in a sanatorium, author Robert Walser wrote several short manuscripts in condensed, microscopic handwriting on whatever was handy: tiny scraps of paper, letters, book covers, receipts, business cards. Walser used the technique as a way to escape writer’s block, like the way an artist doodles for inspiration. These “microscripts” weren’t discovered (and decoded) until after Walser’s death in 1956.
Courtesy the Harry Ransom Center at the University of Texas-Austin’s Wallace archive.
Ablative absolute
Ablaut
Abulia
Acephalous
ACTH
Adit
Adumbrate
Agrapha
Ailanthus
Aleatory
Alfresco
Algolagnia
Alpestrine
Ament
Anecdotage
Androsterone
Anemone fish
Anneal
Antiphon
Antipode
Apathetic
Apercu
aphagia
Aphotic
Apocarpous
Appoggiatura
Aquavit
Arc-boutant
Archimedean screw
Archine
Arcuate
Argon
Armamentarium
Arrière-ban
Arris
Ascites
Asco-
Aspheric
Astrolabe
Athabasca/Athabaska
Atony
Auscultate
Autolysis
Azygous
BAL
Banderole/banderol
Banquette
Bathyscaph
Benthos
Bespoke
Bialy
Bibulous
Bisque
Bonded warehouse
Bregma
Cachexia
Cachinnate
Cairngorm
Caisson
Calenture
Caliposis
Caparison
Carbinol
Carpophagous
Cartouche/cartouch
Cassis
Catachresis
castellated
Catarrhine
Catastasis
Cecum
Cete
Chalcedony
chatelain
Chatoyant
Chthonic
Citronella
Clastic
Clavate
Climbing irons
Clinometer
Clinquant
Cobnut
Coir
Collective bargaining
Conchoidal
Condonation
Confluence
Contredanse
Corporation
corvée
corvine
coryphaeus
couvad
coxcomb
crasis
cunctation
curettage
deadeye
debouch
decalcomania
decrepitate
deforce
delectation
delft
deliration
delitescence
demotic
demulcent
deracinate
descant
desiderate
desinence
desuetude
diadem
dicast
digitate
dihedral
diopter
dioptometer
dioptric
dioptrics
diriment
dissimulate
distichous
divaricate
domino
double-tongue
durbar
edema
ejecta
Elaine
elan
emulous
entrepôt
enucleate
eparchy
epopee
eruct
eructation
esker
espadrille
espalier
estovers
esurient
etiolate
euhemerism
exergue
facial index
fastigiate
fauces
fazenda
feculent
fibroin
fictile
fiduciary
fisc
flagitious
flense
flitch
fluvial
foamflower
folium
forensic
fornication
fossorial
fourfold
fraktur
fraxinella
fulgurant
gallimaufry
gallinaceous
garniture
gavage
gerent
girasol
glans penis
Glengarry
glycine
gnosis
gnostic
Gnosticism
graminivorous
gravid
guttate
hagiarchy
haik
Havelock
Heliogabalus
hematuria
heterodox
heterogeneous
heteroplasty
horripilation
hyperopia
hyperplasia
hypnagogic
hypocaust
hypocorism
iatric
illation
imbricate
imperforate
inanition
indene
indurate
inextirpable
internecine
intinction
intussuscept
invidious
kakemono
kala-azar
Kallikaks
karabiner
kohl
laciniate
lamia
landau
legatee
leptosome
litotes
logical positivism
longeron
lordosis
lucubrate
lugubrious
luxate
macaronic
mage
Mahabharata
maieutic
mammillate
mansuetude
mantic
mantua
manumit
marcescent
mare clausum
massif
mavourneen
mazurka
meatus
meninx
mercer
meretricious
meristem
mesomorph
metacenter
metagenesis
misericord
misogamy
misology
misoneism
mitzvah
moiré
moke
Molly Maguire
molybdenum
monel metal
monitory
monody
monoplegia
morganatic
motile
mucronate
multipara
mures
murra
nacelle
nappe
narghile
nekton
neroli
névé
nevus
nictitating membrane
niddering
nigrosine
obsequy
ocarina
officinal
omasum
ombudsman
ommatophore
onyx
opalescence
ophidian
ornithosis
orology
orpine
orrery
ort
orthochromatic
orthoepy
orthogonal
oscitancy
Osiris
osmic
osmium
osteophyte
oviform
ovine
paillette
parotitis
parturient
parvenu
peccant
pedalfer
pedicel
pelf
pellicle
penumbra
peplum
pepo
perdition
perfidy
pergola
periodontics
periotic
peripeteia
periphrasis
periphrastic
peripteral
permittivity
pertussis
petroglyph
petrolatum
phlox
photogravure
phylactery
piaffer
pilose
pinchbeck
pinnate
planation
pleach
pleasance
pleonasm
plethoric
plication
plimsoll
plissé
polder
pons asinorum
pons varolii
poplar
portcullis
prebend
preferment
premonition
preterition
pronate
pronephros
proptosis
prosopopeia
puerperal fever
quinate
quondam
raga
ramulose
realgar
rebarbative
rebec
rebus
recrudesce
recruit
rectus
recurvate
recusant
red lead
relaxin
relict
reliction
remarque
replevin
réseau/reseau
rete
revetment
rogation
ruth
salient
saliferous
saprophagous
sarcastic
sarcoptic mange
sassafras
sateen
saturnalia
saturnine
scabrous
scarious
scholium
seborrhea
sedilia
sepsis
serous
shako
shinplaster
sibilate
sibyl
siphonophore
skirl
slime mold
sociometry
socle
Sogdian
soke
solander
sordino
soubrette
spavin
splendent
spline
sprachgefühl
Stabat Mater
stative
stato–
steatopygia
steatorrhea
stipule
stochastic
stoup
strickle
stridulate
suborn
succussion
sudd
sudorific
suint
sumptuary
supernatant
surcingle
sylph
sylphid
symposiarch
syntax
sypher
tabanid
tabes
tabla
taiga
talapoin
talion
tanist
Tantalus
tartuffe
telium
tenesmus
tennis
tepefy
tercel
tertium quid
tetrastichous
thigmotaxis
thymus
timbale
tontine
tr.
trabeated
traduce
traducianism
trepan
trephine
trews
tropophyte
tympanites
Tyr
tyro
urticant
urticate
urushiol
uxorial
uxoricide
uxorious
valgus
vang
varletry
varve
veloce
venule
vernier caliper
versant
versicolor
vinculum
virilism
vitelline
vivandière
viva voce
viviparous
volant
volar
votary
witenagemot
Continuing my fascination with the work-spaces of artists, here is the great George Bernard Shaw’s writing hut.
All strips are supposed to be entertaining, but some strips have a point of view and a serious purpose behind the jokes. When the cartoonist is trying to talk honestly and seriously about life, then I believe he has a responsibility to think beyond satisfying the market’s every whim and desire. Cartoonists who think they can be taken seriously as artists while using the strip’s protagonists to sell boxer shorts are deluding themselves.
“The world of a comic strip is much more fragile than most people realize or will admit. Believable characters are hard to develop and easy to destroy. When a cartoonist licenses his characters, his voice is co-opted by the business concerns of toy makers, television producers, and advertisers. The cartoonist’s job is no longer to be an original thinker; his job is to keep his characters profitable. The characters become ‘celebrities,’ endorsing companies and products, avoiding controversy, and saying whatever someone will pay them to say. At that point, the strip has no soul. With its integrity gone, a strip loses its deeper significance.
“My strip is about private realities, the magic of imagination, and the specialness of certain friendships. Who would believe in the innocence of a little kid and his tiger if they cashed in on their popularity to sell overpriced knickknacks that nobody needs? Who would trust the honesty of the strip’s observations when the characters are hired out as advertising hucksters? If I were to undermine my own characters like this, I would have taken the rare privilege of being paid to express my own ideas and given it up to be an ordinary salesman and a hired illustrator. I would have sold out my own creation. I have no use for that kind of cartooning.
”French writer Félix Fénéon led a heck of a life: being the first to publish Joyce in French, discovering Seurat, editing Rimbaud, writing journalism for Le Figaro. But his most noteworthy achievement, perhaps, came toward the end of his life, when he wrote a proto-crime blotter for Le Matin, penning terse, grim — and often hilariously sardonic, even poetic — accounts of French crime and death. Many of these reports were collected in the aptly-titled anthology “Novels in Three Lines,” published by the always-essential New York Review of Books Classics line and translated by the great Luc Sante. Fénéon was a master of one of my favorite tricks: saying a lot with a little. Here is but a small selection of some personal favorites:
There are plenty of sites out there that feature old pulp paperback covers and B-movie posters, but there’s something about the collection of this blog’s subversive esoterica and rare exotica that sets it apart. In particular, I’m thankful for FringePop turning me onto the wildly lurid cover art of Tom Cannizaro.